Monday, May 23, 2011

What Stupid A** Thing Will Kids Think of Next?

planking = dumb

Maybe, I'm getting old. Maybe it's because I'm a mom, but I'm totally freaked out by this new fad I just heard about. It's called planking. Basically lying down on stuff like you are a plank. Why is this cool? I have no idea. Some dude in Australian just fell 10 stories to his death, trying to "plank" the rail of his balcony. Want to learn more about planking? Check out their Facebook page. An entire page dedicated to picks of people planking. What a waste of time. Maybe there's something I'm missing here. A deeper meaning? But I highly doubt it.

What is the matter with people? It's time like these I find myself uttering words I thought I'd never utter: "If your friends jumped off the side of a cliff, would you do it too?" I guess the answer is yes for some of us.

Just makes me wonder what the new "craze" will be when Joe is a teen. I only hope that he has half a brain to know, that doing stupid sh*t, doesn't make you cool!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Help I'm Drowning in ...TOYS

box of toysSqueak. Roll. Crash. 
I thought this only happened in movies, but there I was, flying through the air, in my bathrobe, as I tripped and fell, landing squarely on my butt (which thank god has some extra cushion) -- thanks to an oversized Tonka truck that was left by my son right in the middle of the hallway. Did I mention this happened at 6 AM on my bleary-eyed walk to the coffee maker?

Since when did I start living in a Toys "R" Us, rather than a two-bedroom Los Angeles apartment?

We are swimming in toys. It's hard to pinpoint when mass migration of toys to our tiny apartment started. It's as if they multiply when we are asleep. Could this be? Especially on the stuffed animal front. His bunny foo-foo did seem to be getting a little handsy with teddy last night.

Mind you, most of these toys seem to make NOISE, and lots of it. Our friends, sans kids, seem to get us the loudest ones. Thanks, guys. Super funny. Just wait until you have kids. Revenge is sweet. My son has a particularly loud toy which plays kid versions of pop favorites. Just yesterday, I was one "Wide Open Spaces" (by the Dixie Chicks) away from a nervous breakdown. And then there is the infamous Alex the Lion doll from "Madagascar" that screams "Hi, I'm Alex, the Alex," seemingly over and over again. Well, not seemingly, it really is over and over and over again.  I once heard my husband say it in his sleep. Seriously, that's how many times we hear it a day. It's invading his psyche.
And that Elmo that counts to ten and knows his alphabet. What a pretentious jerk.

If anyone needs me, I'll be in my closet hiding from the toys.

Repurposed from

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Humming Along Just Fine

I've always hated birds. They scare me. I don't like them. They don't like me. So, it's only fitting that I have a kid who really, really likes them - a cruel trick from the gods, meant to soften me up to these feathered foes friends.
I now am the proud owner of a zebra finch (he's small and doesnt threaten me, as long as he's not flapping his wings) and several bird feeders. The latter of which are bringing quite a bit of joy to our house now that spring has arrived. I mean, I hate to say it. I have been a life long bird despiser. Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds is my ultimate nightmare. And once, when I was visiting Mexico City, I was attacked by pigeons. Attacked.
Anyway, my son loves watching the brilliantly colored hummingbirds that flock to our yard around this time of year. I can tolerate hummingbirds. They are like big bees - or so I tell myself. We made a trip to our local big buy store and were able to buy some reasonable priced feeders, but once I saw that the ready made food was more than a gallon of milk, I though there must be a way to make it at home. And, so there was. Check out this cool recipe courtesy of And, it makes for a great activity with the kids.
  1. Make sure your feeder is cleaned thoroughly before adding new solution.
  2. Boil 1 cup of water. (Moms only!)
  3. Stir 1/4 cup of white granulated sugar into the 1 cup of heated water.
  4. Stir until sugar dissolves.
  5. Cool, fill your hummingbird feeder, and add a few drops of colorful food coloring to attract the birds.
  6. Any leftover nectar can be stored in the refrigerator for 2 weeks.
Note that following the 1 to 4 ratio is the best method, as it most closely mocks the nectar found in real flowers.
For added fun, take a few pics of the birds, and create your own nature journal.